What I Don’t Know I Can’t Fix 4 February 09Posted by Fantastic Four in Life, Random Thoughts on Stuff.
Tags: worst form of punishment
The worst kind of punishment someone can give to someone else. It’s not shouting abuse, not swearing at, not arguing, not telling what bothers one about the other, not communicating what the problem is if there is one, but simply ignoring anything one says. As if the other does not exist. Seeing right through as if the other is transparent. Responding or engaging in a conversation? It feels a bit like an exhausting favour.
What would you do if this happened to you? Would you ask the person what is wrong, or what you have done wrong? Would you keep quiet and just wish for it to change? Would you walk away and ignore them back?
You see I don’t like ignoring, because it is too painful if it happens to me that I don’t think it’s fair to do it to anyone. I may be too sad and go quiet for a while, but mostly I just try to talk about it. I can’t fix anything I don’t know, so I ask to see if it’s something I have said or done.
And if I have a problem with something someone has said or done, I just tell them what bothers me. In the past, when I did this I thought it would be ok, because I prefer that I get told what the problem is. I think like the other person has a right to know as it is regarding them or something they have done or said. I don’t like them any less for it, but I might be annoyed or irritated or simply I don’t agree and I say it as it is. This could come across as confrontation but to me it is the best way of communicating, gives a chance to talk it out. Or simply agree to disagree at the end, and that’s fine, too.
But I suspect that sometimes if someone ignores me because they don’t like me, then there is nothing I can do about it. How do I make sure that this is the way though? Can I just walk right up to them and ask “Do you not like me?” If they don’t want to come across as a mean person, they probably just say “What are you on about?” The person simply doesn’t like me perhaps. Then of course I wonder why it is that they don’t like me? It must have been something I have repeatedly done, said, that bothered them. The way I look? The way I talk? The way I walk? What is it? If it’s something I would also like to change, I would. And I don’t know what it is, I just get the silent treatment so I will never know. Sometimes knowing won’t help me fix it. Can’t make someone like me, and in that case it is not enough that I like them either.
It’s not a win win situation, the silent treatments. I prefer anytime a good old argument or stone cold truth slapped on my face than being ignored.
PS: I might be over-sensitive and over-analysing. Only because I care.